Was this love?

From Gap Year to Back to Work!

It's been a year since I posted a blog!  I'm energised and happy to be back to my public speaking coaching business after taking a "Gap Year." Our first six months were at Wallaga Lake (near Bermagui on the South Coast of New South Wales.) We were in a beautiful house right on the Estuary and looking out to sea.  Sunrises were glorious!  I started to write my book on"Contemporary Public Speaking" and my partner Peter started his Masters in Existential Psychotherapy course on line from Middlesex University in the UK.

Wallaga Lake and Beach

 

The second six months of our Gap Year was at Rye on the Mornington Peninsula in Victoria. Here, I made some attempts to continue writing - and Peter continued his studies, including tutorials held on line at 11pm our time - about 10am UK time.  
We discovered the rugged and magnificent beaches on the Bass Strait and found an exciting new hobby.  Walking on the beach and collecting sea glass, washed up on the tide.

Sea Glass from Diamond Bay, Mornington Peninsula

 

For a Special Speech - tell a Story

Speeches for Birthdays and other occasions

I coached my client to give a speech at her Mother's birthday celebration.  It made me think about a piece I wrote earlier this year.

(Michael Leunig's beautiful drawing)

"I'm  helping my client write a speech he will give to his father on the his 76th birthday.  His father is terminally ill and after 3 years of medical intervention is at the end of his journey.

As we were whiteboarding the draft of his speech, my client made it quite apparent that his dad was a man who didn't express his love for his five children (and now adults) and was a feisty, earthy, man of few words.

 My client had never before spoken in public but we         
 unearthed some gems when I asked him to think of incidents in his life when he felt warmth towards his father.  One such time was when he and his brother were having tennis lessons every Saturday - and his father would arrive in his daggy old gardening clothes - covered in grass and leaves from mowing and gardening. 

They were trying to impress the tennis girls and were mortified at the sight of their dad every Saturday - as he brought them sandwiches and a bottle of soft drink for their half time break.

If that's not love then I don't know what is.  

My client's speech was a winner, with laughing and crying - it's all the same thing!

And if your parent is not a demonstrative person, then I guess it's not that they don't love you."

Contemporary Public Speaking

Just as the “command and control” approach to management has become outdated, so too has the authoritarian, didactic style of public speaking.  Thankfully it’s on its way out.

In its place is something I teach and pass on to my clients.  I call it “contemporary public speaking”. It is more in line with the Ted Talks protocol - careful construction, shorter, rather than longer. And, most importantly, connecting with the audience, in an ordinary person-person conversation.

The best way to connect with an audience is to have a conversation with them. Talk to them like you would with one person. Ask them questions - rhetorical and actual.  Rather than state to them, for example, “There are three thousand Retailers in this City” - say “how many Retailers would you think there are in this City?” 

Posing questions to your audience results in more than connection.  It focuses the audience on the question at hand. They feel consulted and involved.  So, my tip is to analyse your talk and see where you can pose questions that involve your listeners.

This style of contemporary speaking has so many rewards for the Speaker.  Not setting yourself up as the expert, it is so much easier to use your authentic voice. Interacting as much as possible breaks down much of the fear and nerves that may affect the Speaker.

Your authentic voice reveals much about who you are.  In the long gone era it was often more about who you were pretending to be.  So many of my clients have said they dreaded being asked a question for which they didn’t have an answer.  This suggests they were using a voice and a delivery that wasn’t their authentic self.  And they were not comfortable or confident.

A conversational tone of voice is easier to sustain.  The words you choose and your tone of voice are critical components of your communication. Imagine for yourself the impact on an audience and the difference between these two messages:

1.      “Today I am going to tell you about the history of Easter Island and the sculptured heads.”

2.     “My conversation with you today will be about Easter Island.  I’ll share with you some interesting facts and I’ll be asking you for your thoughts about the historical context.  We can do some imagining as to how those sculptured heads have lasted until today.”

Tone of voice is also critical because it reveals your enthusiasm for your topic - your attitude towards your audience and whether or not you have managed to engage them.

Contemporary public speaking involves a lot more than I have just described.  Careful construction of your talk - appropriate words and message to match the research you have done into the needs of your audience.  And then, of course, there is the delivery!  A whole subject in itself.

Next time you, as a Manager, speak to your employees, use a “person-to person” conversational tone.  You’ll find it’s a practice that benefits you, the employees and the whole organisation.  

Next time you speak to an audience - treat it as “a conversation with friends.”  You will be rewarded with a close connection to your audience.  You will enjoy, yes enjoy, Contemporary Public Speaking.

How to learn to love Public Speaking

As a speaking coach, I have probably heard nearly all the reasons people give when they say they are not good at speaking in public.

Are any of these reasons familiar to you?

"I don’t enjoy speaking in public because:

 1.    I’m an introvert
2.       I don’t like people looking at me
3.       I don’t like being the centre of attention
4.       My heart beats very rapidly and I feel sick
5.       My mouth goes dry
6.       I start to shake
7.       I go pink in a rising tide,  on my chest and neck
8.     My legs feel like jelly
9.       I go blank and lose my train of thought."

Do you have any additions to this list?

Let me give you my solutions: 

Firstly, let me reassure you.  90% of your success is already determined by how well you have prepared. 

Preparation for your speaking role involves

Preparing yourself

Preparing your content,     and

Preparing your environment.

Now, let me respond to the eight reasons above.

1.  Introverts can be excellent speakers.  Speaking in public is a performance.        It is the same you.  But a different role.  You must learn to develop a        professional but authentic voice.  

     

2.   People are looking at you because they are paying you their respect and             and because they want you to do well.

3.   (I think you know the answer to this one.)  The speaking space is a powerful space.  One speaker to tens, hundreds or thousands in the audience.  When you learn to know and love the sound of your own voice and when you learn to connect with your audience, you are in the speaking space, there can be no other centre of attention.

4.  This symptom and symptoms No. 5, 6, 7,  8 and 9 all arise as a result of our prehistoric brain.  We are pre-determined for fight , flight or  freeze actions.   While all these symptoms are happening, we are contemplating -  “Should I continue? or should I make a bolt for the door?”  These symptoms will be lessened the more you are prepared. 

So what does preparation look like?

My E-Book at  http://www.speak2us.com.au/product/unique-voice-public-speaking-speak2us/ 

describes tips and techniques around Public Speaking.

It shows how to structure a preparation.  How to connect with your audience and how to come from a position of service by sharing something useful.

If you suffer from any or all of the to the symptoms we have been discussing, you will find answers in my E-Book. Speaker’s Guide.  Public Speaking with Speak2us.    You can buy Public Speaking self confidence for $19.95.

Public Speaking Tips

Public Speaking and  Your Audience

sofia@speak2us.com.au

Never Apologise. For example, never ever begin your presentation with "I'm sorry, I'm a bit nervous and I haven't had time to prepare."

Instead, smile and say something lively and encouraging like "I'm delighted to be here to tell you how we have anticipated your needs and ..... 

Forget about you.  Concentrate on them.  Speak naturally - chat to the audience a you would over coffee. They'll love it.

Present your information in bite-sized pieces by limiting the information to

3 key points.

Learn to "read" your listeners so that you can tailor your message if necessary.

Finish with some form of call to action - or by summarising the key points. 

Leave your audience laughing, thinking, or feeling - but don't just leave them wondering whether you have finished.

Have fun!  Enjoy it and your audience will too! 

Public Speakers' Tips on Protocol

Speak2us Canberra for Public Speaking Tips

sofia@speak2us.com.au

The Speaker's space  is usually a "home base" and one or two points of travel.

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The difference between a podium (small platform for a speaker), stage, lectern (a reading desk)  So when you are MC name the space correctly.

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When introducing a speaker - do a nice build up - if appropriate.  Refer to them but don't use their name until the end.  And, be in control of where you want the applause to happen.  Finish off with the magic words - the speaker's name.

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When introducing a speaker - hand over the space - don't leave it vacant.

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If you are to be introduced - don't take chance - write your own introduction. (And, if you have a name like mine (Sofia Majewski) put the pronunciation in phonetics.  (May-ev-ski.)

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If you are introducing a speaker - consult with them beforehand - find out how they want to be introduced and check the pronunciation of their name.  (Can be very inelegant if you don't and then mispronounce their name.)

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Memorise your opening. Make it Bold/Catchy/Dramatic/Memorable, anything but Apologetic/Boring/Cautious/Dull.

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You can find ways of speaking a short opening sentence and the follow with the traditional "Ladies and Gentlemen"   or try "Gentlemen and Ladies" but not Bette Midler's "Ladies and Germs."

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You must void cliches like "And, now without further ado" or I will put the Public Speaking police on to you.  Others to avoid include "anytime soon", "revert back", "going forward", "cover off" "general consensus" (Consensus is already general)  and "very unique."  (Unique 
is an absolute. It can't be very unique or almost unique or "a bit unique"

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Avoid saying "As I said earlier."  You're lucky if anyone remembers what you said earlier.
Say what?